Balms of the night

I found today,
What It felt like, to have lost again.
I never thought I could feel so.

The wait unbearable.
The silence that follows after.
A mere smile would suffice.

Could I possibly,
Have stopped myself from thought.
For its 2 am and I'm lost.

Lost in a certain darkness.
I stare into nothing of importance.
I stare into space.

My mind refuses.
Tiredness doesn't settle in just yet.
My body, a witness to the day.

Thudding can be heard,
Was it my heart? Was it my soul?
It's calling out to someone.

Can you hear me?
It says. Can you hold me?
The plead goes unheard, lost again.

Darkness envelopes me.
All sounds seem so faint.
Thoughts invade me thereafter.

Refusing to settle.
Like a dust storm it scatters.
Bits of stones everywhere.

Anyone at all?
I'm not okay, it says.
Can you calm down my mind?

It's calling out.
Calling out this night.
Yet darkness engulfs my body again.

It Captures me,
Numbs me,
Finally sleep Soothes me.

Age differences

She huffs and puffs
Deadly speed!
Sweat trickles down her forehead.
"I'm alright", she pants.
Determined she pushes herself to the limit.
"Do you want to go faster?", the gym trainer asks.
"No more, "she says.

A girl stands in the corner.
Watching all that took place.
Perhaps she could walk faster,
Than what the lady 'ran.'
Yet here was the woman panting away.
Humbled, she realises,
The magnitude of old age.

Notes on remembrance

A dainty flower,
Lingers
In your hair
Tucked by a pin.

Black mane
Adorned in white.
Memories.

I remember your fragrance,
Each time I see that flower.

**

Image: Google :)

My first day on Indiblogger

"You should write a blog."

"Why don't you blog?"

"You're using your writing skills wrong."

"Dude, just publish online!"

**

Just some of the sentences my friends have used over the years that finally made me make a blog.
Well the seeds were sown and I did follow their advice.

Okay so I made it, what next?

I'm a rather private person. Seeing that I share very few things with people around me. Well okay when I do talk I can go on for hours about books or music or other things that have caught my fancy. But I don't really let out my inner person too often. Well I do, but only if you're lucky.

The idea of sharing what I felt seemed rather weird to me. I didn't even believe in my writing back then I think. So I made a blog and posted stuff anonymously. In the beginning I'd post old peotry that I had accumulated over the years. Gradually a few new ones too. I didn't want people reading just yet.
It was like I was waiting for a miracle to happen. Now that I think of it I was being quite silly.

As I was pointed out once, what's the point of a blog when people aren't reading it? So one fine day the following conversation took place with my best friend.

"You know how you're always pestering me about my writing?
Well I started a blog." I said meekly.

"Omg! No way." She shrieked. "Send me the link."

Flash forward a month later. I ask my friend, "so, did you read my blog?"

"I'm sorry I didn't, I'll read it right away," she apologised

There went my heart. It dropped down low.

Well that was the fact. I've tried that on a couple of other friends over the past few months. Getting the same response,  or something along the same line. I thought to myself,  well that's alright,  I never did indeed write for anybody but my own self.
I wasn't ready to let people read my poetry just yet.

Just forward a few more months later. All of a sudden this urge rose in me, to share.

Now I can't exactly point out to a particular moment but it was like a tubelight went off in my mind. Okay so what, I'm just a little slow like that. But that was my moment when I knew that I want people reading my poetry. Perhaps connect with it. Share it with people they love. Even if it touched someone's heart somewhere I'd be happy.

A few months ago, I remembered reading a blog which had a star sorta badge. I don't know why that fascinated me but it did and kinda got stuck in memory. So here I was hunting for that blog late one night.
(It was 3 am I think)

Few minutes later there I'd found it! Indiblogger it was. I quickly googled it. (Well thats how we get answers,  don't we all?) Signed up for it.  Made an account, submitted my blog. Done and signed off.

The very next morning I got an email that my blog had been accepted even though I anticipated it to be at least three to four working days. Hats off to the team for being so speedy! I would say I did jump with joy when that happened but I'm trying to sound like a sane person here( hush hush).

The very first day, and within an hour or so I got my very first comment. Sikes! Someone who appreciated my poetry. I think I just died and went to heaven. Hehe. The wonderful gooey feeling made me want to turn into mush. What could I say? I think I was finally opening up!

I just wanted to thank Indiblogger for this amazing feeling. Hence the inspiration for this article. For everyone else, well I hope your journey has been better than mine.

Happy blogging! :)

Note: After writing this article,  I've been staring at it since an hour, contemplating if I should publish it. Oh what the heck!

You and I

A few takes on you and I.

**

Perhaps you and I
Weren't meant to be.
Just one of the things I tell myself
To pacify my heart again.

**

You and I
Unlike any other.
Yet seemingly alike
To others
That live, in the same fate.
Of being together.
Yet being apart.
Perhaps now I know
Their plight.

**

You want to know my words
Yet here I am, hiding.
How can I tell you anything
When my words tell all?

**

I imagine you often,
Going about your day.
Silly things you do away.
Although one thing's far from reality.
It is the occurence of my thought in your heart.

**

The horse's arrival,
Marks the dreaded confrontation.
For you and I,
Shall part tonight
With nothing but hunger
In our eyes.
Father shall see it straight away.

**

I close my eyes,
And find you within me.
You and I
Together again.

**

You'd pull out my hair,
And call me names.

My heart broke,
As did my doll.

Best friends once,
You and I.

Now,
We go separate ways.

**

Answers in words

I am but a woman
Slipping along my words
In a single piece of thread.
Binding them with meaning
And chaos.

That which hides in me
Behind the clothes
Beyond the perception.
Hoping to bring some calm
And peace.

Words flow out of nowhere
As long as there's unrest
A storm erupts.
My pen begins to flow
And continues in depair.

The day it shall cease.
I'm not certain.
Perhaps it shall be
When I find the answers
And more.

Valentine's day

A groggy morning it was.
The sky overcast.
Clouds of white and grey
Yet sunshine seemed
To pour in from someplace.

Right on the coffee table,
Besides the papers of the day.
Sat three red roses
Bundled in a white thread.

It was ma's favourite mug,
That held them.
Water filled to the brim.
Yes, it's valentine's day.

**

Image: Ma's Roses :)

Red.

This time around,
Words bled.
Same as before,
They twirl around her face,
The perfect face
Of deceit.

An ornament in red,
Against pale skin.
Like the raging fire ,
That engulfs in her,
All that remains uncharred.

How is it that words,
So cunning, yet sweet,
Imply such desires,
Making her see
Red all over again.

Heartbreaker!

I'm going to break your heart in two.
Or maybe more pieces.
Don't you know that yet.

Yet you stay, stay to bleed,
The shards shall stick in your body somewhere.
You haven't put up your guard yet.

I'm going to be the reason,
The reason you shall shed tears.
Don't you feel the water in your eyes yet?

Stay away from me.
As far as you could go. Running away.
You haven't started walking yet.

Deafening words of silence

The implications of words
Not known,
Until the hour of parting.

It was thought to be,
Easily accepted.
Whatever happened?

Like a drug she craves,
One touch,
To soothe all cravings.

Shivering in delighted ecstasy,
Alone again,
Hours ticking along slowly.

Building up hope of a miracle,
Just something,
To kill those anxious thoughts.

Was it those words,
His words,
That drowned all dreams.

There seemed to be noise,
Utter chaos,
But it was all within.

She thought she knew before,
This silence,
How wrong was she!

It was only known later that night,
How truly,
Silence can be deafening.