Friday, 14 March 2014

The child within

My heart was a traveling
Along a rather lonely path,
It saw not grief or sadness.

Nor was it depressed,
Or upset by the world,
It chose this self inflicted madness.

Drowning in words,
Gulping in poetry,
Lost in a world so far.

Living that life,
A world privy to none,
One that was imagination at large.

I stayed in a corner,
Tucked in a book,
My nose was buried inside.

The world seemed moving,
At a pace too fast.
A safe haven was my book to hide.

When characters didn't suffice,
My thirst for books,
I took another way out.

I began to write,
Every essence of my soul,
Those words dissolved all doubt.

As I found myself,
Reflecting on those pages,
Pages from a land within.

I lost myself,
Once again.
To the little child staying within.

Tuesday, 11 March 2014

The truth

He discovered some truths on her death

***

A silent reminder
A chance encounter
Proof of existence
A constant companion

Your daunting gaze
Her shallow look
Departure it was
Those years ago

Now so surprised
He's her soul
Child of heaven.
Bliss of shade.

All these years
He suffered alone.
Childless by choice,
Choice of neglect.

Now his saviour,
She's gone away.
His child discovered
In her death.

***

Monday, 10 March 2014

Beyond this life

There's just something about the night, that makes me think about the world and beyond. On such a night do I begin this conversation with him. For when I'm lost in thought, I'm having a conversation with Him, The Creator.


***

My closest confidant are you,
A power deep within.
Oh Allah, In your praise,
Where shall I possibly begin?

You know what thought runs in my mind,
You know what I shall be.
You know me more than I could know,
My every breath do you see.

In sickness do you stand by me,
You bless me more in health.
You care for me when no one's around,
It only increases when people are there.

For a loving father have you blessed me with,
My mother's love a fraction of yours.
Brothers and sisters who stay by me,
To whom I can my heart pour.

Like a shadow do you accompany me, 
A constant reminder inside.
There's no denying your presence around.
Where could I from myself hide?

I see you in the morning light,
I see you in the eve.
I see you all throughout the day
I see you as I sleep.

You're present in the sound of the wind,
You're present as I write,
Watching as I submit my will,
In prayer shall I abide.

Your kindness is exemplary,
Your full might I shan't know.
Your guidance helps me through my life,
Seeds of hope do you sow.

You believe the best of me always,
You teach me how to forgive.
Your love for me knows no bound,
Beyond this life that I shall live.

***

Friday, 7 March 2014

Have you ever felt so?

Ten minute scibble, rants of the heart at 4 am.

**

Waking up in the early morning,
When the sun is yet to rise.
Realising the dream that you saw,
Still Vivid in your mind.
Scrambling to open your phone,
To note it all down.
Or Perhaps a handy book
At your bedside.
Describing your dream,
Yet pass it off as fiction later.

Have you ever felt so?

Reading a book,
Emotions running high
You tend to flow in them.
Then tragedy strikes.
Your mind numbs.
You try to soak it all in.
Push aside every thought.
Ponder over life as it is.
The way it could be.
The way it is.
The way it shall be?

Have you ever felt so?

The end rush
An overly feeling of joy
Wild ecstasy.
Pure vibrancy!
The happiness, the cheer
And all that you want to hear.
In knowing what tomorrow shall bring.
In delight your heart does sing.

Have you ever felt so?

**

Thursday, 6 March 2014

The ugly wristlet


I remember when I was a little girl; I wouldn't ever be seen with a wristlet. I felt uncomfortable, even rather embarrassed at times to be seen with a dangling purse around my wrist.

Then one fine day, I was gifted one. I must admit, that on first receiving it, I wasn't too thrilled. In fact I thought to myself, another one of those gifts that's going to lie in my wardrobe forever, until I have to clear it away for lack of space to store other such things. It was quite the rage, in fashion those days and considered to be very trendy. And I thought to myself, how stupid does it look, how uncomfortable it must be and how unsophisticated it seemed? Me, being the always so cautious and always being prepared for anything kind of person, always kept everything in my hand bag. How could a wristlet possibly compensate for the lack of Storage space?

Oh well, one day, while heading out, the odd bright wristlet caught my eye. Not because it was something that I'd remembered, but only because I was just going out for a casual meeting with old friends, catching up. How tedious it seemed to carry my massive size bag, for something that was so casual? I randomly stuffed a few bills, my phone, a couple of cards and tissues in there, and I was good to go!

After my evening out, I realized I was so much more comfortable, as I didn't have a giant size bag, to be carried along all evening on my arms. I wouldn't attribute the feeling solely on the wristlet, as catching up with old friends really does wonders to oneself, but yet again it was a good night. After that evening, I found myself increasingly carrying the wristlet along to various places. To the extent that, other than the most necessary places that required me to carry a handbag, I always preferred the wristlet.

What was firstly termed as ugly, hideous and uncomfortable was now trendy, comfortable and good to go. I realized that, the wristlet had grown on me. I couldn't do without it anymore.


Like the wristlet, there are many things in life that we are quick to judge. We deem them to be objects of no importance to us, but slowly they grow on us and often become an inseparable part of our lives. Don't be so quick to judge things, the way they are, maybe your perception towards them is wrong, or maybe you are indeed right. But only time can tell that. I hope you haven't discarded any valuable things from your life in that manner?

Image taken from http://www.pastryshoescollection.com

Wednesday, 5 March 2014

On Mother's Death



He saw the world through her eyes
Those eyes, they held his world.
For none could compare his love for her.
In her lap he'd stay curled.

In his life of ten and two years,
He had her beside him always.
I'll be with you forever,
Fear not my love, she says.

Her strenght he knew to be inside,
Wisdom filled those eyes to the brim.
She ever wore a stiff dress.
Her manner so neat and prim.

She could be stern to the world,
She could have perhaps been harsh.
But when he stood in front of her.
She turned but all into marsh.

She lay there resting in utter peace,
A calm look upon her face.
Whose lap would he keep his head on now?
How would the world he face?

She'd told him not to cry,
Not ever to shed a tear.
For now she said, through his eyes, 
she could see him face his fears.


***

Image: Painting by Pierre Renoir

Tuesday, 4 March 2014

The last kiss

An arranged marriage. Two lovers shall part forever.

***

So here I am,
Yours tonight .
Keep me in your arms,
And hold me tight.

We shall spend together,
Another night in bliss .
Kissing all night, tonight,
With nothing amiss.

For there's no tomorrow,
There's no turning back.
Let's make the most of it,
Because time do we lack.

Kiss away the sorrow,
Kiss away the pain.
Your memories shall stay forever,
What more could I gain?

A cliche story do we have,
A tale of heartache it is.
Even if I belong to another,
It is you that shall I miss.

And a gaping hole shall be left,
Left within my soul,
With you away from me,
How could I feel whole?

So I'm here tonight With you,
Tomorrow I shall be his.
Forget the pain and sorrow,
Let me drown in your kiss.

***

image: yours truly :)

Monday, 3 March 2014

The boy in the bookstore

Warning: This post contains silly teenage like drama. All out of sheer boredom!

What I'm about to write today is about an unsuspecting boy that I saw in the bookshop.

I don’t think he noticed me right there in the corner. There I stood on a lazy Sunday afternoon right in the middle of the dead section. By dead I mean the classics, due to the fact that these authors are long gone and secondly due to the fact that there's such less takers for the classics section of the bookstore. I'm often surprised at this.

Coming back to the boy at the bookstore, there I stood having an internal battle with myself to buy a book. Thomas Blake or Alfred Lord Tennyson? Well I could perhaps buy both, but then a mental image clicked in my head of the pile of unread books that has steadily increased in my room. Not due to lack of reading, but due to my habit of splurging an insane amount of money on books.
Now let me tell you here my bookshelf is so full that I need to literally squeeze my books in between the empty spaces (if I find any at all).
I promised myself just one book while leaving my house. I would keep it at that!

So anyway, I reached over for the top shelf and pulled out a book by Elizabeth Barrett Browning. For short people like me it can be quite the task! Which reminds me, perhaps I should I write a letter to the bookstore with my recommendations.

There he was coming towards me! My goodness he was a sight! Tall, well built and carrying a book in his hand! Wow. My ideal man I would say. 

Being fed on so many movies and novels where the hunky hero comes in to save the day, I expected my hunky hero to come and help me extract the book from the shelf.
But I'd already taken the book I wanted! Damn, there goes my chance to be rescued (not lliterally). I mentally kick myself. Stupid stupid girl! What were you thinking?

By that time I noticed he had passed by, looking at the next shelf.  Religious books were kept in that section.  Well they say don't judge a book by its cover, well I judge a person by the books he reads. 
There I stood trying to decipher the mystery of the man standing next to me.
Now let me make it clear here that I'm usually not so overly calculating in my head. Yes I'm a girl that over thinks a lot but not for strangers. Yet here I was thinking over a person who I didn't know at all. What was wrong with me?

I decided to distract myself back to my books. Contemplating which one I could buy. There I hear, "excuse me?"
I turn to look at the stranger, eyes wide. Did he perhaps notice my stare earlier?
I quickly looked his way, he wanted to get a book from the shelf, and I stood in his way.*sigh*

I was lost in my books for quite some time after. Perhaps twenty minutes had passed. I stood in the aisle reading poetry, while the stranger stood beside me, reading the book he had picked.
I peeked a sideways glance at him, before finally moving to the next section. Barely two minutes later, I could see the stranger browsing through the same books. Perhaps it was instincts that told me of his presence. I picked my book and moved to the payment counter. I plopped my books on the counter and stood waiting for my bill. From the corner of my eye I could see the boy stand near the exit of the bookstore. I found that to be rather weird. Maybe it was a whole silly coincidence. I shrugged it off once again.

Perhaps I'd been acting like a giddy teenager all along. As I stepped out the door, I heard someone clear their throat. "Hi, I'm Chintan," said the voice.
I looked up straight into the stranger's eyes, grinned and replied "Hi, pleased to meet you."

Perhaps I wasn't being silly after all.

Ps: I ended up buying four books in the end, resulting in a high that only a good paperback novel could induce.
Showcasing my books to any friend who dared to listen and making them feel that perhaps I've lost my marbles for good.

Sunday, 2 March 2014

Just for him

She stared at the knife in her hand.
Tears had begun to form.
Wiping them away with her sleeve,
She squeezed shut her eyes.
They were red, much like her mood.
Contemplating if she should carry on?

But, her husband loved it.
This was his favourite!
She couldn't tolerate it herself though.
She'd do anything for him.
Even if it tortured her!

It was a necessity for him.
The sweet flavour on his lips.
He enjoyed it thoroughly.
Wanting more and more everyday.

She'd gotten many cuts,
All over her fingers now.
Couldn't he consider her feelings?

Raising the knife in her hand,
She brought it down on the board.

Why did he love onions with each meal?

***

Image: Yours truly :)

Saturday, 1 March 2014

Pink dreams


Jiggling the coins in her hand,
She made her way to the beach.

Princesses lived on the color pink,
She knew. Maa said so.

One day you will be a princess,
Just wait and see.

A pink world, complete with clouds,
A world of love and candy!

A little girl of eight,
She dreamt of being a princess.

She'd seen the man sell fairytale wands,
Perhaps today she'd get her dream.

Image: Juhu beach :)