Friday 23 May 2014

Five sentence fiction: Anchor


"Nasir, what's that floating along the shore?" Myra shouted, her voice carrying along the barren beach.

Collecting garbage off the coast and selling it off to help their amma had become like a routine for them.

A huge crash of the waves brought the object of their fancy closer to the shore.

They ran towards it,  excitement in their veins, giggling like kids on a treasure hunt not knowing it indeed was a treasure of sorts.

In the evening news, it was known, two children discovered an old smuggled anchor made of gold on the beachfront.

****

Mum and I always had each other's backs.

While she was the anchor that held our little family together, Pa was the one who drifted away.

I never looked back and thought about why he left, the way he did.

Maybe he was free spirited.

Maybe he couldn't be bound by chains.

****

He lies at the bottom of the ocean now, her beloved.

As an anchor would plunge in the sea, did he sink, never to return. 

Too painful a memory.

What a lucky escape,  people said to her.

How could the gurgling and choking noises in her sleep she evade?

****

I never can seem to decide what I want to post for Five sentence fiction prompt.

Which attempt do you like best?

54 comments:

  1. All three were lovely..I particularly loved the second one!

    ReplyDelete
  2. i like sad,tragic still beautiful part so 3rd one !

    ReplyDelete
  3. Wow...these are awesome...I especially like the second one! :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. I havnt been able to write 1 yet and u have already written 3 :O I loved second one the most :)

    Swathi Shenoy

    ReplyDelete
  5. I loved the first FSF.. The others were great too but the first was lovely..:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hehe someone told me the first was the best before i did publish this, now i see different opinions :) I'm glad i posted all!

      Delete
  6. Your stories reminded of a poem "Inchcape Rock" by Robert Southey. I liked the second one the best ( though all were equally good)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. omg, my mouth was left gaping at your comment. it was one of those poems that i did in school for elocution. I still remember the poem by heart. Thank you!

      Delete
  7. Great article.. Mind blowing

    ReplyDelete
  8. All three are simply wonderful, but I loved the second one the most.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Replies
    1. Hehe I cant decide which one is best yet! Thanks for the read :)

      Delete
  10. Lovely! 3 stories in 1 Post! 15 lines in all. Great that you posted all the stories :)
    I especially loved the 1st one!

    ReplyDelete
  11. I think they are all great. Decisions are not my talent. :-)
    Deb@ http://debeioneille.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  12. Each of the three FSF have their own charm, be it the innocence in the first, the philosophical 2nd or the grief in the third. Loved all three Sabeeha :)

    ReplyDelete
  13. awesome writing :) First one, i like the most :)

    ReplyDelete
  14. Loved the first one !! But how do u come up with so many short stories.. I find them so hard !!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha I can't come up with haikus the way you do woman! :p

      Delete
  15. Loved all of them, they are so good . I specially liked the way she says her father left maybe because he was free spirited!I also liked the last one ,its kind of so sad.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Nima :) I guess it does pack a punch :)

      Delete
  16. Loved it.. All three are so very meaningful. Its nice to get to read something like this on blogs. :) Keep Sharing..

    ReplyDelete
  17. Even if it's late, I am very happy that I finally stumbled across your wonderful blog. Each post is so touching and lovely.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Wonderful. Beautifully textured in so few words.

    ReplyDelete
  19. wowow an anchor of gold.. I would love to discover one ..

    Well all three are good, I found them that way. they all had a different emotion, happiness and sadness..


    Bikram

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm glad Bikram :) well wouldn't we all want one? You already have treasure though :p

      Delete
  20. Wow! 3 entries! And all very good but I do like the darkness of number 3! x

    http://40somethingundomesticateddevil.blogspot.co.uk/2014/05/anchor-5-sentence-fiction.html

    ReplyDelete
  21. Loved the 2nd the best.

    In response to your question on my Mumbai blog - No, I do not live in the Kalbadevi area, live in Bandra but find the Kalbadevi, Bhuleshwar area very fascinating. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Deepak, oh Bandra is beautiful! Y no images from the old rusty bandra lanes?:)

      Delete
  22. I loved each one...special in it's own way :)

    ReplyDelete
  23. Each are well written. I like the second in that it is almost lyrical.
    Here is my offering: http://mcguffysreader.blogspot.com/2014/05/brother.html

    ReplyDelete
  24. I loved the second one the most :) Beautifully expressed :)

    ReplyDelete
  25. All three are wonderful attempts!

    ReplyDelete
  26. All of them are superb...very heart touching..u always come up with things that are THE BEST!!!!!

    ReplyDelete

Loved it? Hated it? Comments make my day!