Friday, 23 May 2014

Five sentence fiction: Anchor


"Nasir, what's that floating along the shore?" Myra shouted, her voice carrying along the barren beach.

Collecting garbage off the coast and selling it off to help their amma had become like a routine for them.

A huge crash of the waves brought the object of their fancy closer to the shore.

They ran towards it,  excitement in their veins, giggling like kids on a treasure hunt not knowing it indeed was a treasure of sorts.

In the evening news, it was known, two children discovered an old smuggled anchor made of gold on the beachfront.

****

Mum and I always had each other's backs.

While she was the anchor that held our little family together, Pa was the one who drifted away.

I never looked back and thought about why he left, the way he did.

Maybe he was free spirited.

Maybe he couldn't be bound by chains.

****

He lies at the bottom of the ocean now, her beloved.

As an anchor would plunge in the sea, did he sink, never to return. 

Too painful a memory.

What a lucky escape,  people said to her.

How could the gurgling and choking noises in her sleep she evade?

****

I never can seem to decide what I want to post for Five sentence fiction prompt.

Which attempt do you like best?
Posted by at
Labels: ,

54 comments:

  1. Red Handed23 May 2014 at 16:45

    All three were lovely..I particularly loved the second one!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ankur Anand23 May 2014 at 16:45

    i like sad,tragic still beautiful part so 3rd one !

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ygraine23 May 2014 at 18:28

    Wow...these are awesome...I especially like the second one! :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Swathi Shenoy23 May 2014 at 18:41

    I havnt been able to write 1 yet and u have already written 3 :O I loved second one the most :)

    Swathi Shenoy

    ReplyDelete
  5. Donna Burman23 May 2014 at 21:16

    I loved the first FSF.. The others were great too but the first was lovely..:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Midnight scribbles23 May 2014 at 23:17

      hehe someone told me the first was the best before i did publish this, now i see different opinions :) I'm glad i posted all!

      Delete
  6. Meera Sundararajan23 May 2014 at 22:40

    Your stories reminded of a poem "Inchcape Rock" by Robert Southey. I liked the second one the best ( though all were equally good)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Midnight scribbles23 May 2014 at 23:15

      omg, my mouth was left gaping at your comment. it was one of those poems that i did in school for elocution. I still remember the poem by heart. Thank you!

      Delete
  7. Rahul23 May 2014 at 23:33

    Great article.. Mind blowing

    ReplyDelete
  8. Pawan Hegde23 May 2014 at 23:37

    All three are simply wonderful, but I loved the second one the most.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Datta Ghosh23 May 2014 at 23:49

    Loved the third one

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Midnight scribbles24 May 2014 at 10:06

      Hehe I cant decide which one is best yet! Thanks for the read :)

      Delete
  10. Anita Sabat24 May 2014 at 00:01

    Lovely! 3 stories in 1 Post! 15 lines in all. Great that you posted all the stories :)
    I especially loved the 1st one!

    ReplyDelete
  11. debi o'neille24 May 2014 at 01:44

    I think they are all great. Decisions are not my talent. :-)
    Deb@ http://debeioneille.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  12. Reshma24 May 2014 at 03:39

    Each of the three FSF have their own charm, be it the innocence in the first, the philosophical 2nd or the grief in the third. Loved all three Sabeeha :)

    ReplyDelete
  13. Unknown24 May 2014 at 04:17

    awesome writing :) First one, i like the most :)

    ReplyDelete
  14. Jyotsna Bhatia24 May 2014 at 15:29

    Loved the first one !! But how do u come up with so many short stories.. I find them so hard !!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Midnight scribbles24 May 2014 at 16:21

      Haha I can't come up with haikus the way you do woman! :p

      Delete
  15. Nima Das24 May 2014 at 16:02

    Loved all of them, they are so good . I specially liked the way she says her father left maybe because he was free spirited!I also liked the last one ,its kind of so sad.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Midnight scribbles24 May 2014 at 16:22

      Thank you Nima :) I guess it does pack a punch :)

      Delete
  16. Sonia24 May 2014 at 17:45

    Loved it.. All three are so very meaningful. Its nice to get to read something like this on blogs. :) Keep Sharing..

    ReplyDelete
  17. Namrata24 May 2014 at 19:06

    Even if it's late, I am very happy that I finally stumbled across your wonderful blog. Each post is so touching and lovely.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Tomichan Matheikal24 May 2014 at 22:22

    Wonderful. Beautifully textured in so few words.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Bikram24 May 2014 at 22:29

    wowow an anchor of gold.. I would love to discover one ..

    Well all three are good, I found them that way. they all had a different emotion, happiness and sadness..


    Bikram

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Midnight scribbles25 May 2014 at 01:26

      I'm glad Bikram :) well wouldn't we all want one? You already have treasure though :p

      Delete
  20. Unknown24 May 2014 at 22:40

    Wow! 3 entries! And all very good but I do like the darkness of number 3! x

    http://40somethingundomesticateddevil.blogspot.co.uk/2014/05/anchor-5-sentence-fiction.html

    ReplyDelete
  21. magiceye25 May 2014 at 06:21

    Loved the 2nd the best.

    In response to your question on my Mumbai blog - No, I do not live in the Kalbadevi area, live in Bandra but find the Kalbadevi, Bhuleshwar area very fascinating. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Midnight scribbles25 May 2014 at 14:24

      Thank you Deepak, oh Bandra is beautiful! Y no images from the old rusty bandra lanes?:)

      Delete
  22. Sushree Dash25 May 2014 at 17:46

    I loved each one...special in it's own way :)

    ReplyDelete
  23. Anonymous25 May 2014 at 18:25

    Each are well written. I like the second in that it is almost lyrical.
    Here is my offering: http://mcguffysreader.blogspot.com/2014/05/brother.html

    ReplyDelete
  24. Aathira25 May 2014 at 23:16

    I loved the second one the most :) Beautifully expressed :)

    ReplyDelete
  25. Shail27 May 2014 at 19:31

    All three are wonderful attempts!

    ReplyDelete
  26. Unknown1 June 2014 at 00:04

    All of them are superb...very heart touching..u always come up with things that are THE BEST!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  27. Unknown15 June 2014 at 17:44

    nyc....

    ReplyDelete
  28. Unknown15 June 2014 at 17:45

    nyc....

    ReplyDelete

Loved it? Hated it? Comments make my day!

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)