Wednesday, 26 March 2014

Ben's Story

The world through the eyes of a child, when I read the prompt such possibilities ran through my head! I wanted the post to be childlike and innocent, devoid of any worry, free flowing as such. So I've come up with Ben's story. One that is quite easy to relate to, the vocabulary limited to a ten year old's. The poem, a child's rant. I hope I have done justice to the same.



***

I am a little boy,
A little boy of ten.
I'm not so old I suppose,
So my name is little Ben.

My father calles me Benjamin,
For that's my whole name.
My mother she calls me Benny,
Why can't everyone call me the same?

For I quite like the name Ben,
It makes me feel cool.
That's who my favourite hero is.
Ben Ten to the rescue!

I live in the old white house,
On the corner of the street.
It's the perfect place to live in, 
For my friends in the corner I meet.

We have a special hiding place,
A place that no one knows,
It's behind the fence of my old house,
Underneath the water hose.

I play with my best friend Jimmy, 
Although I call him Jim.
What's with adults and all the long names?
I don't understand a thing!

Jim and I have been best friends, 
For as long as we could be.
He has a lot of pretty toys, 
That he always shares with me!

For mum says I can have more toys,
When I'll stop being so naughty.
You're always hiding from my reach.
And pulling pranks on Lottie.

Now who is Lottie you may ask.
She is my little baby sister.
I like to pull her hair at times,
Her favourite candy is twister!

I think my mommy and daddy,
Do love her more than me.
She's always getting more presents,
She's only three you see.

But mommy says she loves us both, 
And made me a chocolate pie.
For chocolate pie is my favourite dish,
That I can't deny.

I heard my daddy tell mommy,
Just the other day,
We're running out of money soon,
We need to find a new way.

I suppose I could give them my piggy bank,
Although it doesn't have much. 
I was saving up for my favourite bicycle. 
I'm not using it as such.

But mommy says I needn't do that, 
She gave me a tight hug and kiss.
Now daddy's gone away some more,
Him do I terribly miss.

He does send home a lot of toys,
Toys I now share with Jim.
There's even some for Lottie.
Although mum is always grim.

Jim says its because daddys away,
That mum is always so sad.
He's quite the sensible boy I think, 
For he doesn't have a dad.

So I try to be a good boy,
A better boy for my mum.
I don't play pranks on Lottie either,
As we wait for dad to home come.

***

What comes to mind for the March WEP challenge - Through the eyes of a child? Rewriting a passage from a child's POV? A montage of images through the eyes of a child? A poignant or exhilarating poem? A non-fiction piece told from a child's POV? The possibilities are limitless!

To read more click Write.Edit.Publish

22 comments:

  1. Loved it. So sad and yet hopeful. This months entries on this blog hop, through a child's eyes have been so very very good. I felt this one, visualized your images easily and liked the way the world looked to him. Well done and thanks for sharing.

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    1. Thank you Lisa for your kind words. I'm so glad I stumbled across this prompt!

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  2. Really good one Sabeeha :) The poetry had a child like flow and it was sooo cute :) Even I feel happy that I stumbled upon this prompt and how while reading your comments ....Nilanjana's when I visited her blog I saw a post related to this . So , I owe it to you :)

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    1. Thank you Sushree! I think the prompt was soo cute :D And however we stumbled across it I'm glad we did!:D

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  3. Sabeeha, thank you for posting for the WEP monthly challenge. Of course the blogfest is open to everyone. Sorry I didn't get your message until I woke this morning.

    Loved this little child's voice. The story was told from Ben's point of view. From joy to sadness as he struggled to understand the adult world. I hope his dad can come home soon.

    I'm glad you found WEP . I hope you can participate in April, when the prompt is April Fool. Wide open topic.

    Please feel free to visit other people on the list.

    Denise

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    1. Hey Denise, it was fun writing this bit, it flew beautifully as I wrote it!
      Will surely read the other entries over the weekend.

      Look forward to the one in April too.

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  4. I love Ben! He's so believable. Bought back some (very old) memories. How I loved a secret hideout. The best one was beneath a water tank at the church. Very snug. Grown ups always underestimate their youngsters don't they? Hope Ben's dad comes home soon.

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    1. Thank you Jenny. I'm glad my poem brought back beautiful memories for you. I think hiding spots near water tanks make for the best ones. Always cool and blissful shelters.

      Well yes, we do tend to do that. We may feel that they're unaware at times, but they're always following our example.

      Thanks for dropping by :)

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  5. Love the bits about the secret hiding spot and so on. That definitely reminded me of my own childhood.

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    1. Thank you Trisha for dropping by and for your kind words.
      I hope they were happy memories :)

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  6. You nailed the voice of a ten year old, Sabeeha! From cute to poignant. I hope his dad comes home soon.

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    1. Thank you Nilanjana :D I'm glad you liked it :D

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  7. I could feel Ben. A beautiful sad poem.

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  8. Wow..you have captured the perspective of childhood so vividly!
    The secret hiding spot...the longing for his dad to come home...oh how this took me back to my own childhood memories...
    Just perfect...:)

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    1. Thank you so much :) I'm glad they did!

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  9. A lovely poem. I want to give Ben a great big cuddle.

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    1. Thank you Sally! Cuddles would be lovely for him :D

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  10. I enjoyed your poem, written in the light way a child would speak and analyze the things that happen to them. They hear, they worry and this is how they learn to deal with the cares of the world. Very well done. I have enjoyed this months entries very much.

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    1. Yes they do! Thanks for the appreciation :)

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  11. Loved the flow of words. Great job !

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